Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending
machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

Just remember... if the world didn't suck, we'd
all fall off.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50
chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll
get it wrong.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

The things that come to those that wait may be
the things left by those who got there first.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine
for doing well.

When you go into court, you are putting yourself
in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of
jury duty.